During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"

The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

• Topic: Humor
• Score: 4.5 / 5

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We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed.

"Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

• Topic: Humor
• Score: 0 / 5

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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check up, the doctor called his wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband can die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch, fix him a nutritious meal. For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your stress; this will probably make him feel worse. And most importantly, you must be intimate with your husband every day of the week. If you can do this for at least 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say to you?"

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Marriage
• Score: 0 / 5

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Gee, that's a cute tattoo.
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It's fireproof.
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What does this button do?
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Are you sure the power is off?
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• Topic: Humor
• Category: Daily Walk
• Score: 0 / 5

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A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for services. He was asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

• Topic: Humor
• Category: Misc
• Score: 5 / 5

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