Friday, August 30, 2002 (07:08:11)
This Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.
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Jesus to man: Welcome. It is our custom to ask new arrivals if there is any unfinished business on earth they would like to see completed before entering into heaven.
Man: Well actually there is. You see, a number of years ago I was separated from my son and I hear different stories but I don't know for sure exactly what happened to him.
Jesus: Well it shouldn't be too hard to find out. Let's start with your name.
Yitzhak (Isaac) is incredulous. "Pop," he says, "you can't run Windows XP on your old, slow 500mhz. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 1ghz with a minimum of 128 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows XP."
St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
Jesus at the Pearly Gates (joke)
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 (00:00:00)
One day Jesus was staffing the Pearly Gates for St. Peter when a soul arrived:Jesus to man: Welcome. It is our custom to ask new arrivals if there is any unfinished business on earth they would like to see completed before entering into heaven.
Man: Well actually there is. You see, a number of years ago I was separated from my son and I hear different stories but I don't know for sure exactly what happened to him.
Jesus: Well it shouldn't be too hard to find out. Let's start with your name.
Abraham and Isaac (joke)
Thursday, August 15, 2002 (00:00:00)
Avraham (Abraham) wants to upgrade his PC to Windows XP. Yitzhak (Isaac) is incredulous. "Pop," he says, "you can't run Windows XP on your old, slow 500mhz. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 1ghz with a minimum of 128 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows XP."
Healthy Christians (joke)
Friday, August 09, 2002 (00:00:00)
Two Christians have lived very good, and also very healthy lives. They die, and go to heaven. As they are walking along, marvelling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says "Wow. I never knew heaven was going to be as good as this !"
Getting Into Heaven (joke? - no laughing matter)
Monday, August 05, 2002 (00:00:00)
A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."